A day in this life

Just about everyone in Dubai drives a Toyota or a Range Rover. It never rains, but the days it does are frighteningly exciting. We wash our cars here to remove sand, not salt or slush. A hand car wash costs $8 for 6 men to thoroughly scrub down your car with professional hoses and suds, complete with interior vacuuming, glossed tires, an Armoraled dashboard, and Windex to every last inch of smudged glass. Gas stations sell strawberry milk, chocolate milk, plain milk, yogurt milk, camel milk, fresh fruit, Indian food, fresh squeezed orange juice, and Funyuns; architecturally, they are more advanced than the futuristic BP convenience stores back home. The standard work week in Dubai is Saturday through Thursday. Friday is the Lord's day. Many websites are blocked here because they go against local values, take Flickr for example. American sodas like Dr. Pepper and Coke Zero go for about a dollar, but you can buy a 1 liter bottle of mango juice for $.50. A full tank of gas here will set you back about $10. There are not enough parking spots to accommodate the number of cars in this city. It’s not uncommon for migrant construction workers to throw themselves in front of oncoming traffic because they are worth more to their families dead than alive. Most of the service industry here is Filipino and Indian. They don’t sell sticks of gum here, just chicklet-sized squares that come in deceiving wrappers that appear to hold sticks of gum. I can’t find dark chocolate anywhere. Yesterday I had Caribou Coffee after work. Starbucks is down the street. So is Panera. Mixed nuts are tastier and crunchier here. Half full moons actually appear half full and not half sideways. Highway signs never explain whether you’re driving east or west, north or south; they simply list city names, which means you've got to know where you're going . There are no 18 wheelers in Dubai. Camels have the right of way (they seriously do). There is only one cell phone provider and that’s it. They don’t recycle here. Just about everyone speaks English. Most phones do not have voice mail or call waiting. Britney Spears makes headlines on the English morning radio. No one here has ever heard of Twizzlers. The warmest article of clothing in my wardrobe here is a suit jacket. The food court at the mall has a selection of Burger King, Indian food, 3 Lebanese places, Sushi and KFC. There are policemen, but they don’t patrol the highways for speeders – they have automated radar poles for that. Last month over 1 million speeding tickets were issued in Dubai. “Sunday drivers” don’t exist here. The radio stations are broadcasted in English, Arabic, Urdu, Hindi, and Tagalog. People picnic in the desert with their families. I wake up to the harmonious morning call to prayer from the local mosque, which is chanted 5 times a day. My new favorite soft drink is ginger beer. Indians and Pakistanis have an affinity for scotch, which they start drinking at home during their teens. We don’t drink tap water, just bottled. A complete manicure and pedicure cost only $20. Tampons are somewhat taboo here, which means 2 or 3 boxes tucked somewhere amongst the wall holding 10 brands of maxi pads to chose from. We don’t have Walmarts or Targets but we have Hypermarkets, which is like Walmart on steroids. A night at the only 7 star hotel in the world will set you back about $2000 and to simply enter the premises you need a reservation at one of their bars or restaurants that will cost at least $75 per person. You can charter yachts here to party on with your friends for about $2000. An abra ride across the Dubai creek costs $.27. The sunset never ceases to amaze me and it’s free to watch from just about anywhere. It’s illegal to drive around with a closed container of alcohol unless you have a special license. Sidewalks are hard to come by, so are Americans, hoppy beer, warm clothes, dogs, and video rentals. Bus stops are air conditioned. We are a 3 hour flight from 3.1 billion people. The high today during the dead of winter was 68 degrees.